Major holdups on University Boulevard blamed on portables installed in the middle of the street

The Montgomery County Department of Transportation was hammered by complaints last week after Montgomery Blair installed portables on University Boulevard for the upcoming 2023-2024 school year. Joe Archibaldson, assistant principal at Blair said “With increasing overcrowding, we have had no choice but to expand school facilities, and there was a bunch of empty space right there.” This has raised critics from commuters who pointed to the entire field behind the school. One commuter, who drives to his job at the Silver Spring by Green Goo Factory, said “How am I supposed to get to work when the entire street is taken up by these little runts going back and forth to their classes or whatever.” Many students have also complained, citing the fact that there is room for an expansion of the main school building, and the fact that many of the new portables will be assigned to Magnet teachers. One student, Ed Liu said “They could build another floor, they could put an expansion on the field, so long as it isn’t the tennis courts, or they could send students to other schools. But I don’t see why I should have to walk into the middle of the road to go to school just because I am in magnet.” The administration’s response to the supposed bias against magnet students has been to say “No one cares.” and “The maggots have got to go somewhere.” The new portables, which are of even lower caliber than the ones already installed, lack air conditioning or heating and have been reported to leak. The Student Government, which complained about this last week has had their little funding cut and their request ignored. A teacher, however, whose name is being kept anonymous reported it to the Montgomery County Education Association, the teacher’s union, whereupon these conditions were fixed within the hour. However, traffic issues persist as more people are rerouted onto the Beltway where traffic has hit an all time high. The Green Goo factory employee said “I left my house at 11:00pm the previous night to get through in time for work at 9:00am.” MoCo DOT says that they are working around the clock, when they can get to work, to come up with a solution. For now though, commuters will just have to wait for the completion of the Purple Line, which is on track to be completed in the year 3452 without further delays.